My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I wish I only lived at night.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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