i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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