i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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