So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What a dumb baby whore.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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