Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
