none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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