Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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