I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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