I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Randomize
