I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
