he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
