There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
