Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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