I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Someone came in the potted fern
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
