So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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