direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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