I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
