Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
