dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
