whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
