What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
