Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
