what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
