At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
