...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
