Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just tell him i said nine months
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
