I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
