yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
40s are totally the cure
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
