I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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