This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
