I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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