So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize