Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
