That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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