a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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