oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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