can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
