I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
