Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
