if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
