a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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