I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize