He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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