she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
