Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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