I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
