Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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