That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Randomize
