Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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