look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
