I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
