I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
