I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize