I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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