I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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