i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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