the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize