Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She told me I should be a condom model.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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