No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
