Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
