I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
