Only a mothe r could love this liver
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
