the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
